I remember when my daughter was young and I had the luxury of not having to work full time, I would often go visit a friend that had two young boys of her own. The first thing we would do in the morning (after the children were fed, clothed and entertained for a few minutes) was slip outside to smoke a joint. Gasp! What awful mothers, right?
In reality, those turned out to be some of the most fun, most adventuresome, greatest bonding moments I had with my daughter in her early years. You see, rather than getting all bent out of shape over spilled milk, or worrying about whether she had her nap at exactly 2:00 pm, I spent far more time just enjoying being with her. We didn’t lay on the couch all day eating munchies while the kids ran amok; my friend and I had more energy to take the kids for a walk or to the park, we made up silly little games and creative projects to do with them, we had the ambition to finish up all the little chores that are seemingly always put on the back burner. We even found innovative ways to sneak more vegetables into their lunches and dinners. An added perk was that when bedtime rolled around the kids were actually tired (and not the cranky, ‘I’m going to cry for 3 hours’ tired). They had their needs fulfilled throughout the day and they welcomed sleep.
Stress is everywhere these days, from demanding careers, to illness, to the desire for the latest and greatest gadgets, and unfortunately our children are sometimes the ones who are suffering the most.
One of the most important things you can give your child is your attention, and it’s very hard to do that when you are constantly distracted about how you’re going to pay the rent or are living in constant pain from an illness. The solution for me was basic: have a couple hoots and just enjoy what was happening in the moment. Perhaps this can work for you, too!
- Lola Haze
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